From LUST to SALSA – Mantra of a Healthy Relationship

Hand-in-hand – Me and my wife Monika!

A healthy relationship may begin with LUST and continue doing SALSA 😀

where LUST and SALSA are:

L – Listen
U – Understand
S – Speak
T – Trust

S – Share
A – Accept
L – Love
S – Suggest
A – Accept

Begin with listening and understanding, then speak your views. Keep building trust.

As trust builds, you start sharing more with each other. Accept what the other is sharing and love starts developing.

When love is there, you may suggest a thing or two, for yourself and the other, for the betterment of both. Accept again, whatever the result.

Don’t forget LUST and keep doing SALSA 😀

A letter to a stranger…

This is my first post after Ashima nominated me for the Liebster award, which encourages amateur blog writers like me and is a way to discover new blogs. A lot of gratitude to Ashima (Do visit her blog – https://limenlemony.wordpress.com/ to know more about her).

Coming to the post – Yashaswi, a friend, wanted to make one of her friend (Roni)’s birthday special. So she connected with me, asking for a picture of mine saying ‘Happy Birthday to Roni’ or something else if I feel so. That set me thinking. I asked her for a photograph of him, which she shared. And then, I thought of writing a letter. A letter to a person, I didn’t know. A letter to a stranger. This was the first time I was writing a letter to an unknown person. Following is the letter.

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Dear Roni,

Hope this finds you in the pink of your health and mood. As they say, ‘there are no strangers, only friends we haven’t met…yet’! So we aren’t strangers, but friends, connected by humanity. Moreover, we got connected through a common angel Yashaswi. She shared your picture with me. And when I saw your snap for the first time, my instant reaction was (see on the whatsapp screenshot below) –

Your smile seems so infectious. I don’t know much about you yet, but the photograph tells me that you are a compassionate person, sharing your laughter with kids while taking a selfie may be. Spreading cheer to kids is a sure shot way to contribute towards a happy next generation. And you are doing your bit for that. You may be doing many such things which I would like to hear. Would also love to know more about you, if you feel to share. From my side, I will share something that I believe in –

Another interesting thing I came to know about you, is that your birthday falls on April 21st. It is the 111th day of the year. This was the day, the city of ‘Bangkok’ was found in 1782. The same day in 1863, Baha’u’llah, the founder of Baha’i faith, declared his mission as ‘ He whom God shall make manifest’. Brasilia, the capital of Brazil was officially inaugurated on this day in 1960. We knew only 9 planets prior to April 21st, 1992, when the discoveries of two more planets was announced. And if you Google, you will also come to know about so many great people – painters, diplomats, priests, engineers, musicians, designers, physicists, illustrators, authors…etc., who were born on this awesome day of April 21st, the same day you made your presence felt on this planet.

I wish you a great April 21st. And I also wish you a great April 22nd, 23rd, 24th…etc., because every day is gifted to you, to smile and spread those smiles, as you do it in your unique and irresistible manner. Keep smiling mate!

Your friend, Manjeet.

p.s. I invite you to Vadodara, if and when possible for you, so we can spend some time sharing with each other.

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I never thought that writing a letter to a stranger will be such a beautiful feeling. Thank you Yashaswi and thank you Roni.

When I sent the letter, I didn’t know how will Roni feel, but I felt bliss. I felt as if I communicated not only with Roni, but also with everyone else in the world – all the people I know and don’t, all the acquaintances and all the strangers, all the friends and the friends I haven’t met, yet. I felt as if I touched the connection I feel with humanity. I felt as if I communicated with one…and oneness.

A letter to a stranger…what a blessed experience!

Effortless joY

I once asked my mom, “Don’t you get tired by working for all of us day in and day out, and that too, without seeking anything in return?” She just smiled and said, “I like that.” I nodded, appreciated and understood, but never comprehended it completely to explain that in words…till I went to ‘The Retreat’, as a volunteer  (http://www.movedbylove.org/retreat/).

Environmental Sanitation Institute (ESI), Sughad, near Ahmedabad (Gujarat, India) where ‘The Retreat’ is organised

I had been to ‘The retreat’ earlier. If I have to describe it in words, it is difficult; but the closest will be ‘a home away from home’. ‘The treat’, I would like to keep ‘re’turning to…and after my first visit as a participant, I really wished for going back, as a volunteer. Here, I must express my gratitude to the person/s who bestowed this opportunity on me. I remember, as a participant, I had received so much love and understanding from all, including the volunteers, that I wanted to experience giving the same, with so much humility and kindness.

The three days passed by, in a blink…leaving memories of a lifetime. With participants from 5 different countries and with diverse backgrounds, it was really ‘a salad bowl’, but merging in the ‘melting pot’ of ‘Moved by love’ (MBL) (http://www.movedbylove.org/). Along with other inspiring volunteers, I was ably guided by generous souls from MBL (who organises ‘The Retreat’) and ESI (where it is organised) (http://www.esi.org.in/sughad_about.htm). Add to that, the gracious participants, who themselves volunteered for many works, I found, I have nothing much to do, except soak in the air of bliss.

Whatever little I did as a volunteer, reinforced my belief that ‘giving is a joy unparalleled‘. While receiving feels good, giving, which looks like its mirror image (try it in the mirror), feels ‘good raised to infinity’. I felt, as if I am on auto-pilot. I didn’t do anything, it just happened. I was just going through the motions. I felt, as if it was my nature…as if I was born to do just that…as if some greater force was manifesting and making it happen. Whatever you may call that greater force, ‘God’ or something else, but ‘giving’ is one guaranteed way you can experience it.

‘No one has ever become poor by giving’

As I write, I vaguely remember what I did, but I vividly remember the way I felt – ‘effortless joy‘. Just like, I am feeling now. Holding the pen, as it writes itself (figuratively, not literally…of course, I am typing on a laptop…LOL).

Somebody asked me in the retreat, about the difference I felt as a participant and as a volunteer. I do recall replying, that as a participant, I felt like a kid (sometimes spoiled…with so much love) and as a volunteer, I felt like a parent…and more like my mom.

While I have helped people in different ways, even served before, this was one ‘heaven’ of an experience. One after which, I understood in its totality to put them in words, what mom said many years back, about why she never gets tired. Now, I can say, “I know, how it feels mom…and I like it too.”

10 reasons for meditation

Meditation; because we become conscious of our subconscious

Meditation; because not all the answers are found on Google 🙂

Meditation; because with closed eyes, you open a new world

Meditation; because you can see anything, with eyes closed 🙂

Meditation; because when it meets practice, awareness is born

Meditation; because it makes sitting idle quite respectable 🙂

Meditation; because we can do it at any age, any where, any time

Meditation; because it can take us any where, without ticket 🙂

Meditation; because it is free medication

Meditation; because we seek INR peace 🙂

Little acts…big impacts

We all can count the number of seeds in a fruit, but can we count the number of fruits in a seed?

What will happen, if you give without expecting anything back? A lot of happiness…and a lot of questions. In these times of what-is-in-it-for-me, people don’t believe you, if you offer them anything for nothing. They try to find out the reason. If it is not obvious, they try harder…looking for an ulterior motive. What was our motive?

We, a group of friends, got together and prepared ‘poha’ (flattened rice) and ‘nimbu-pani’ (sweet lemon water) at home, in the early hours of the morning. We then went to a nearby garden, where people throng for walking, jogging etc. A beautiful ‘rangoli’ (decorative design on a floor) with flowers was made, just inside the entrance. Poha went into paper-bowls and nimbu-pani in plastic glasses. And the fun began…

We offered them to people walking by. The first reactions were puzzled, or plain curious. Who are we? What are we doing? And why? Are we selling something? If not, what’s the catch? When we asked them to have fresh poha and lime juice, they were hesitant. But, we were persistent. Some smiled and asked, why are we distributing these? Is it a festival, a special occasion…? We replied, no, just out of love. No strings attached, no expectations. In disbelief, they followed with, which organisation, institution…? We are just a bunch of friends, we answered. They furtively tried looking for a banner of an organisation or a symbol or anything that can subside their curiosity about this undefined act. What maximum they could find, was a poster that said ‘food + love = prasad’. Finding no clue whatsoever, they were flabbergasted, but still gave it another shot; ok, but there must be a message. What was our message?

Soon, some old people started having it. Children were not only having it, but also demanding more for their friends. A group of ladies started appreciating the mint leaves we put in the lime juice. Now seeing people relishing it, others stopped too. Asking the similar set of questions in different variations and then settling down to having the hot poha and / or cool nimbu-pani, with a smile on their faces. Seeing those smiles and the hint of blessing in their eyes, it felt as if, more than the happiness we were giving, was the happiness we were receiving.

The caretaker of the garden emerged and asked, what we are doing. When told, he was very appreciative and said, had he known earlier, he would have arranged for media to cover such benevolent initiative. An old gentleman, regular to the park, sat with us and talked, his eyes welling up with emotions. More such initiatives should happen, he said. People were happily surprised, felt a little better about the world in general, about the society and most importantly, about themselves. Some even decided to do something similar. Youngsters were talking to each other that there is hope…still.

And slowly but steadily, the poha and nimbu-pani finished. What wasn’t finished…was the hope. The hope that, the children who enjoyed it without a care, would remember this and care for others, when they grow up. The hope that, the youngsters will talk to their peer group about this unique scene in a garden (some took photographs from their mobile) and spread the message. The hope that, the people who experienced an act of pure selfless serving – an offering made without any expectations of return, will pay it forward. The hope that, they will do a good selfless deed to others, as we did it to them. Perhaps, that was our message.

People are basically generous, but the environment around makes them sceptical. Initiatives like this gives them a signal that their surrounding space is positive. Habituated of listening to negative news, this comes like a breath of fresh air. It brings them closer to their own kind true selves and start a ripple effect. Today, they are the recipient of a selfless act, tomorrow they will be the initiator. And by doing so, they will start another ripple…which will then cause more ripples to follow…and so on. It is like, you can count the number of seeds in a fruit, but the number of fruits in a seed…is countless. Hope, we provided that seed, of a selfless deed, which will cause a change indeed. Perhaps, that was our motive.

What do you think about this little initiative? What else can we do? Do share your thoughts and ideas, by clicking on ‘comments / replies’ below.

Masti ki Holi mein Bhang ki Goli

Humko pataa chalaa ki holi aai, chandaa mangne jab bachon ki toli aai,

Ikyawan rupey ka chuna lagaaya aur kahaa, shaam ko jaroor ana bhai,

Shaam ko hum bhi chal diye gang ke saath, bhaiya ab vasuli ki bari aai,

Vahan par lakadiyaan jal rahin thi aur ladakiyaan pooja karti nazar aain,

Humne bhi bhagwaan ko maska lagaya aur prasad ki aur nazar dodaai,

Makki ke dane, revdi, chiki aur khajur khakar mann ko kuchh shanti aai,

Jala li holi, ab bujhane ke liye agle din dhuleti aur uske sath chhuti aai.

Abhi ankh khuli bhi nahin thi aur baahar se, baahar niklo ki aawaaz aai,

Baahar jhanka to aakraman ki taiyari sang, padosiyon ki fauj nazar aai,

Diwali mein jaise naye kapde, holi mein vaise purani patlun ki yaad aai,

Baahar aate hi hua aisa hamlaa, jaise bhukhe sheron ko billi nazar aai,

Itna rang lagaya sabne ki, apni shakal humein khud hi pehchan na aai,

Aur dost bhi aaye; aur mujhse hi puchhne lage ki, main kaha hun bhai,

Humne bhi thoda-thoda rang lagaya, aur thode rangon ki bachat karai,

Auron ko bhi ranga gaya, jo pyar se baahar na aye unki to shamat aai,

Ek naye padosi ne to, rang lagane se pehle hi pehli bar pehchan karai,

Apne mohalle ke bad sabne socha, baahar huddang macha ayen bhai.

Baahar rangon ke sath bahut kuchh tha; ande, mitti… ityadi ki bari aai,

Log sadkon pe alhad jhum rahe the, holi ki masti charon aur nazar aai,

Chehre pe itna rang tha ki wahin se rang utar kar dusron par ki rangai,

Thak gaye the, bhukh lagi thi; ganne ka ras piya aur khane ki bari aai,

Khaman aur Samose to khaye, par zindagi mein pehli bar bhang khai,

Socha itni si goli se kya hoga, uske upar se pi li pet bhar ke thandaai,

Baug ki pipe se nahaye, bahut acting kari ki mujhe chadh gayi he bhai,

Par goli nahi, yeh to bum ka gola tha; futaa zor se par awaaz nahi aai,

Shareer mein kuchh ajeeb hone laga, jaise sachmuch chadh gayi bhai.

Bhang ki goli ka dekh kar effect, humein badi zoron se ghar ki yaad aai,

Kheli thi humne jo baahar holi, goli ne shareer ke andar wohi holi dikhai,

Ghar aakar jo aina dekha to usne kaha, yeh kiski shakal udhaar le aai,

Humne kaha jale pe namak na chhidko, mithha khane ki ichha hai bhai,

Kaju katri par haath saaf kiya aur socha ki, ab shareer ki kar len dhulai,

Mann halka aur shareer bhari tha, sab dheere dheere ho raha tha bhai,

Kaha behnon se, chad gayi mujhe; bolin acting achhi kar rahe ho bhai,

Dhoop mein utarti he suna tha, dhoop ke liye washroom ki batti jalai,

Tab donon behnon ki samajh me aai, ki sachmuch chadh gayi hai bhai.

Par donon ko bhi thodi chadhi thi, kyonki unhone bhi thodi si thi khai,

Phir kya tha, mil kar mandli jamaai; hans hans kar sari chinta bhagaai,

Kabhi Aamir Khan jaisi tapori acting aur kabhi gaanon ki bauchhar lagai,

‘f’ language behnon ko batai, fir har fentence mein ‘f’ ki barish si aai,

Khud ko acting ka badshah samajh rahe the hum, aur masti thi chhayi,

Jaisa bhi tha achha lag raha tha, gum ki badli dur tak nazar nahi aai,

Jo bhi ho raha tha, vo ho raha tha; koi lagaam hi nahi lag rahi thi bhai,

Hosh tha par ankush nahi; ‘main’ nahi tha, bas hone ka ehsas tha bhai,

Dar sa tha, kya sab yun hi rahega; itni khushi se bhi dar lagta hai bhai,

Yaddasht chali jae ya shayad main pagal ho jaon, ant ki feeling bhi aai,

Kya, kaise pata nahi; dheere dheere do-dhai dinon mein puri jaan aai,

Aur jin doston ne bhang khayi thi, vo mile aur ek dusre ko apbiti sunai.

Iss pure samay ke dauran main khush tha, koi chinta aas paas nahi aai,

Aisa laga jaise yeh tha main, ya hun shayad; kya aisa reh paonga bhai,

Dheere dheere sab pehle sa ho gaya, phir se gamon ne kar di chadhai,

Zindagi mein yeh kaisi holi aai, suna tha par pehli bar bhang ki goli khai,

Holi ko yaadgaar banakar, ek aur bat iss goli ne achhi tarah se samjhai,

Belagaam zindagi badi khatarnaak hai aur ankush kitna zaroori hai bhai,

Khushi ho ya gum, banaye rakho apna sanyam; yeh bat samajh me aai.

1friend, 1day, 1city – Vadodara: A Biglilcity

When an old friend calls after a long time, we are engulfed by a rush of mixed emotions. Remembering the time spent together and wanting to share the events that happened after that, jostle with each other for preference. Nostalgia and current events mixed with a sprinkling of anticipation, making a heady cocktail.

Planning to meet up, was the good news. The bad news, we only had a day. Anyway, we decided to do the best of what we had. The time passed faster after that call and the day was upon us. I reached the platform and bought some tea and hot Dal-Vadas, a Vadodara railway station delicacy, as the train arrived.

My friend had told me that he would take a cab and check-in into a hotel. I had other plans though. In a ‘biglilcity’ like Vadodara, it is easy to reach the station and receive a guest. He jumped with joy, as he saw me waving. I could see, he was happily surprised.

As soon as he saw hot Dal-Vadas and tea, with even more hot green chillies, he dropped the bags. I decided to tease him by delaying the munch. Kept the snacks on the side and opened my arms for a hug and then didn’t let go. His initial irritation of a delayed bite melted with the prolonged hug.

For some time, we both were speechless. Probably, we had too much to share and didn’t know where to begin, or was it the eating. One thing about a good friendship is, that you have the same intensity, whatever the amount of time that has elapsed, since you last met.

As we moved out, we had a glimpse of the new Rail museum built on one side of the railway station. We both appreciated the fact that Vadodara has preserved its past, as it moves towards the future (how true of just about everything here). We thought to enjoy more places in the city, as we catch up on our old times.

As I steered my car out of the station, I had two choices – could have turned right to a hotel, as my friend had suggested or left, towards my house. I knew, what I was going to do. In this biglilcity, it is not a hassle to take your guests home. Moreover, he was a dear friend.

On the way, I stopped at Dairy Den outlet. At the counter, I looked at him. He smiled and it was understood – two dark chocolate ice creams. We came out from our ‘choco-heaven’ and the second largest dome in India was staring at us. The MS University stood tall, literally and figuratively, as I turned towards home.

After he got fresh and a cuppa coffee, we were back on the road. Again, we had two alternatives – we could visit the new malls, multiplexes and shopping centres or the old palaces, museums and art galleries. My friend said, “Malls and multiplexes are the same everywhere, lets go to places which are unique here.”

So, the first stop was the art gallery near the Laxmi Vilas Palace. After viewing some beautiful frames including a few by renowned Raja Ravi Varma, we walked towards the Palace. The lawn was watered by automatic sprinklers, on the undulating layers of the magnificent golf course. Mammoth was written large over the architecture of the palace from the outside and the intricate detail of everything inside was just majestic.

A stone’s throw away from the palace was Aurobindo Ashram, where we spent some meditative moments (food-for-soul). Nearby to it, was some actual food, Mahakali Sev Usal (a Vadodara bread-hot curry snack). After the little refill, some walking was in order. Hence, the next halt was Kamatibaug with beautiful greenery in the midst of the city and a museum to boot. After a small dose of history, it was time to take a leap to the present (time as well as gift).

We bought a couple of books and CD’s at Crossword and a few gifts from shopping centres in Alkapuri. With so many food opportunities in the vicinity, we started selecting and short listing. Again, we had to decide out of two preferences for our late lunch – a world cuisine at Azure (Surya Palace Hotel) or a traditional affair at Rajdhani (Centre Square Mall). My friend opted for the local flavour and relished it completely. It was followed by an early evening long drive towards Sindhrot. We passed the go-kart tracks on our left and stopped over near the serene Mahi river to see the beautiful sunset and chat, in general.

While coming back, I turned left from Kala Ghoda Circle. Took my friend to the all-religion-encompassing EME temple. As expected, he felt it was one-of-a-kind. Home bound, we passed and marvelled at the old architectural spectacles and important places like Mandvi Gate, Nyay Mandir, a big Shiva Murti in Sursagar Lake, Music College, Khanderao Market, Nanakwadi Gurudwara and Hazira Maqbara en route to my home in Manjalpur. It was a pity, that we could not stop at any of these places (less time). We had also missed Ajwa-Nimeta gardens, Champaner heritage site and other places (well, next visit).

Reached home and got fresh, as mom asked about food. We indicated our plan of eating out. As we got ready, she handed a pack of Bhakharwadi and Dhuliram Penda (Vadodara specials) to my friend. We went to grill-haven Barbeque Nation for dinner before turning for the airport. My friend was amazed to see the architecture of Vadodara airport, which he found very distinctive from other Indian and international airports.

At the airport, waiting for his flight, my friend said, “It was a wonderful trip. Not only did I meet you after a long time, I got introduced to this awesome place.” Yeah, I said, “It was a pleasure hosting you here. I always had two kind of options; traditional-modern, big-small etc. Somehow, Vadodara has a beautiful way to amalgamate them all – heritage monuments, contemporary malls, great opportunities and small distances. It is truly a biglilcity.”

Thodi si different wali Diwali wish

Is Diwali mann mein deep jalaayen

Raavan ko jalaa kar Ram ko jitayen

Laxmi to ayegi, Saraswati ko bulayen

Muskan bikheren aur jivan mein utsah layen

Karm ki puja karen, burai ke pataakhe jalaayen

Sapnon ko dein chingari, josh ke anaar jalaayen

Naye vichar pehnen, namrataa ke gehne banwaayen

Aur dil se ye dua hai ke, aap khushiyan payen

Is Diwali mann mein deep jalayen!!!!

 

Happiness and Success

Some people want happiness, some want success and some want both in different proportions. Some may even express their wish in different ways, like money, fame, love, satisfaction….but it boils down to success and happiness.

If we ask ourselves, we get the same answer and there is nothing wrong in desiring them.

But, is there a sure shot formula for happiness, or success; or both together? Many people work hard (and/or smart), but don’t get success. Some do all the right things, but still feel unhappy. Some do get, either or both, but not permanently. Rings a bell; happens with so many of us.

So what to do – leave it to destiny, ask google, curse your luck, pray more….?

Well, if you consider happiness as one goal post and success as the other, we are all trying to put the ball somewhere in between. And despite our best efforts, the goalkeeper is winning.

Try shifting the goalposts, in fact enlarging it to ‘Balance’ and ‘Excellence’.

When you work hard, the probability of getting success or failure is fifty percent each. But since you work hard, you have a hundred percent chance of being better at doing, what you are doing. That’s excellence.

Similarly when you do all the right things, the probability of getting happiness or unhappiness are, again fifty percent each. But since you do all the right things, there is a hundred percent chance that you will maintain an equilibrium, whatever you get. That’s balance.

So, if there is a fifty percent probability of a goal in the case of success and happiness, then there is a hundred percent possibility in the case of balance and excellence. More importantly, you can achieve balance and excellence all the time.

Let’s change to higher goalposts of balance and excellence, that encompasses happiness and success. Let’s desire balance and excellence.

I wish you balance and excellence.

Why copywriting is called ‘copywriting’?

When I introduce myself as a ‘copywriter’, some people are puzzled by what I do. Those who know the profession also wonder, why ‘what we write’ is called a ‘copy’. To ease matters, here it is.

Copywriting is the  act of writing copy (text) for the purpose of advertising or marketing a product, business, person, opinion or idea etc. The addressee (reader, listener, viewer etc.) of the copy is meant to be persuaded to buy the product advertised for, or subscribe to the viewpoint the text shares.

The copywriters may use different sources to make the material ready to be copied. Also, copywriters may use words / phrases / sayings / anything else, that already exists, to create something. But that is not the reason it is called ‘copy’.

The term copywriting seems to date from the explosion of modern journalism and newspapers in the nineteenth century. The term ‘copy’ here comes from the definition 4 of Merriam-Webster for the noun ‘copy‘:

a. matter to be set especially for printing

b. something considered printable or newsworthy

c. text especially of an advertisement

Rather than meaning that the writer ‘copied’ the material (which is ‘plagiarism‘), it means, that it is the material that is intended to be copied – that is, reproduced and printed in the newspaper or ad for all to read.

P.S. The ‘copy’ above has used various sources.